Your Question: I’m a generally a good person and a good girl. I don’t lie to my parents. I don’t really misbehave. My average in school is 104 and I rank #1. I have to be a physician. And I’ve never really had any interests in boys until my junior year. The guy’s name Mark and I’ve known him since freshmen year. He’s fit, and is really handsome with dimples to match. He’s 16 like me and he gets by in the institute with 85s and 90s but a lot of the time, he’s a kind of like a bad boy and is a little immature. He actually came to class with a hickey on his neck. I liked him but he found out and he asked me out but I said no because my parents doesn’t allow me to date until I’m out of high school. Now he asked me out again and said that he tied to impress me by getting 101 average, taking up music, joining sports teams and club. I didn’t know that he was pushing for me so much. I want to say yes so bad but I can’t lie to my parents and date him behind their backs. I haven’t talked to them about it, but they won’t let me date him. They’re really protective of me because I’ve had bone and lung cancer. What should I do? We’re both 16. And I really don’t want to stray from my studies.

Dear Reader,
The parent-boyfriend battle is almost like a time-honored tradition. I can’t tell you how many times I disagreed with my own parents about how old I should be when I started dating and which guys were right for me. Your parents just want to keep you safe. They still think of you as their little girl — even though you’re 16 now, with a totally normal and healthy interest in guys. The fact that you’re a lung cancer survivor is incredible! But it probably doesn’t lessen their need to keep you close to home. You’ve all been through a lot, and they want to make sure you’re OK.

Start things off slow with Mark. Become friends first and see how things go. By easing into things with him, you can also ease your parents in. If he’s your friend first, they’ll have a chance to get to know him, and you’ll have a chance to see if you’re really interested in a relationship. And, you can keep your studies in focus at the same time. Then, if you’re ready to take the leap into a more serious relationship, you’ll be ready — and you’ll be able to help your parents adjust. Timing and honesty are everything.

Just remember, life is really all about balance. You’re smart to think about your long-term priorities, but you also have to follow your heart, and there is a way to do both. Trust yourself, and you’ll be just fine.
xxx
Sarah