Your Question:

-Musicgirl

Dear Musicgirl,
I remember the lunchroom scene well. During my sophomore year of high school, none of my friends were in my lunch period, and it was the most stressful part of my day. I was always really anxious about who I was going to sit with and what we were going to talk about. Eventually, I realized that if I wanted someone to sit with, I was going to have to make the first move.

You see, to have friends, you have to be a friend. And to become a friend, you have to put yourself out there. By that, I don’t mean you have to randomly text total strangers in your grade, but find little ways to start talking to new people.

Maybe your teacher assigns a group project. Ask someone you want to get to know if you can be her partner, and suggest you study at coffee shop one afternoon. Make the project an excuse to hang out and get to know each other better. You might find out you have a lot in common.

Or maybe there’s a club or group you could join to meet some new friends. I know it sounds overwhelming to walk into a room where you don’t know anyone, but if you like music, see if there’s an afterschool band that needs a new member. Or if you like writing, try to write a story for the school paper. There are a lot of ways to meet new people once you start looking. And while it’s always scary to put yourself out there, you just have to take a deep breath, remind yourself that these people would be lucky to be your friends, and go for it. After all, how many people don’t want a new friend in their lives?

One important thing to remember: When it comes to friends, a few real friends — the kind you can open up to and talk about everything, even if they aren’t in your lunch period — are a million times better than a lot of fake friends. So be sure to value the friendships you have and let your true friends know how important they are to you.

Let me know how it goes in the lunchroom!

xxx
Sarah

Your Question: Ok so I really, really, really like this guy who happens to be one of my best friends and I’ve known him my whole entire life our families are really good friends. We don’t go to the same school but I see him on weekends with our families. I want to tell him that I like him and I have tried a couple of times but I got to nervous. Any ideas on how to tell him?

Thanks!
Annabeth

Dear Annabeth,
Crushing on a friend can be really nerve-wracking but it makes total sense. After all, you know him really well, as a friend first, and he probably knows you well, too. You know his sense of humor, what makes him nervous or upset, and how he treats his family – all important things to know about a potential boyfriend.

Since it can be overwhelming to come right out and say that you like someone, you can start dropping some pretty obvious hints that you like him.

First, since it sounds like you spend most of your time hanging out around your families, try suggesting that the two of you do something different. Not an official date, but maybe there’s a movie that you want to see or a school activity you want him to come to. If he seems up for being with you in a new situation, it’s a good sign that he might have feelings for you, too. See how it goes. If he seems to respond to your flirting (and is flirting back!), you’ll be able to tell if there might be a future for you two as a couple.

And then comes the big part – really telling him how you feel! Yes, you have to do it at some point. After all, you want to be able to be honest and straightforward in a relationship. But you can wait to profess your love until you’ve tested him out a little. Go out a few times and introduce him in to your life during the week. You’ll know when the moment is right. And in the meantime, have a great time getting to know him better and hanging out in different places. The process leading up to the relationship can be really fun, so enjoy it!

xxx
Sarah

I have a new advice column on ABC Family’s website for their hit show The Secret Life of the American Teenager, which I watch religiously (and would even if I didn’t have the column!).

dear sarah looks at questions from teenagers across the country and I’ll be posting new stuff every single week, which I’ll link to here and on my twitter. You can comment and send in new questions. I especially love the comments because it’s like a conference call with people from all over. Everyone has something to say and there’s some good advice in there!

The first column is all about how guys act one way when they’re alone with you and another way when their friends are around…common problem, right?

Here’s the exact question: I think this guy likes me!! But when he’s with his friends and me he doesn’t talk to me that much. When it’s just me and him alone, he always talks to me!! Does he like me? (And you can read my answer here.)

So, what do you need help with? Anything. Everything. Just ask!