Your Question:

Dear Reader,
Sometimes moms (well, all parents for that matter) know just how to embarrass you! You want to keep your period on the down-low but you know you’re mom, and you know that she’s probably going to make a big deal out of it. So how do you talk to her without her overreacting (even if it is in a positive way)?

Why don’t you try writing her a note to get the conversation started? You can take all the time you need to put your feelings and thoughts down, including the fact that you think she’s going to make a bigger deal out of this than you want her to. Be honest and tell her that you want to be able to talk to her, but you need her to be really low-key about it and help make the whole conversation more comfortable. Ask if you can set up a time when just the two of can talk about it (you might have some questions after all, and she’s been dealing with this for years). Then, suggest that when you do talk, you do it somewhere private, so you don’t have to worry about a little brother, your dad, or anyone else barging in. Be sure to leave the note on her pillow or in her makeup drawer – somewhere she’s sure to find it. After your mom gets your note, she’ll have a better sense of where you’re coming from. And she’ll probably even relate a little. Maybe she felt the same way with her mom!

The good side of talking to your mom is that she will have some advice (sometimes cramps and things like that run in the family, so she might really understand your symptoms and feelings) and ultimately make your period easier to handle. She’ll also be able to help keep your supplies well-stocked and make appointments with your doctor when you need them.

Use your note to set the tone of the conversation. Your mom will likely follow your lead. And don’t worry about feeling like this. Remember that it’s your period and it’s ok to feel like you don’t want it blown out of proportion.

Good luck!
xxx
Sarah

Your Question:

-Musicgirl

Dear Musicgirl,
I remember the lunchroom scene well. During my sophomore year of high school, none of my friends were in my lunch period, and it was the most stressful part of my day. I was always really anxious about who I was going to sit with and what we were going to talk about. Eventually, I realized that if I wanted someone to sit with, I was going to have to make the first move.

You see, to have friends, you have to be a friend. And to become a friend, you have to put yourself out there. By that, I don’t mean you have to randomly text total strangers in your grade, but find little ways to start talking to new people.

Maybe your teacher assigns a group project. Ask someone you want to get to know if you can be her partner, and suggest you study at coffee shop one afternoon. Make the project an excuse to hang out and get to know each other better. You might find out you have a lot in common.

Or maybe there’s a club or group you could join to meet some new friends. I know it sounds overwhelming to walk into a room where you don’t know anyone, but if you like music, see if there’s an afterschool band that needs a new member. Or if you like writing, try to write a story for the school paper. There are a lot of ways to meet new people once you start looking. And while it’s always scary to put yourself out there, you just have to take a deep breath, remind yourself that these people would be lucky to be your friends, and go for it. After all, how many people don’t want a new friend in their lives?

One important thing to remember: When it comes to friends, a few real friends — the kind you can open up to and talk about everything, even if they aren’t in your lunch period — are a million times better than a lot of fake friends. So be sure to value the friendships you have and let your true friends know how important they are to you.

Let me know how it goes in the lunchroom!

xxx
Sarah

Your Question:

Dear Reader,
First-kiss jitters can make you really nervous about “the moment,” even when you want (and are expecting) the kiss! So the first thing you’ve got to do is stop worrying. It sounds like you really like this guy, and that’s the main ingredient for a good kiss — chemistry. And since it’s there, the rest will come together when the two of you start to kiss.

You see, kissing is like riding a bike. Even when you haven’t ridden one in a long time, once you get back on, it comes right back to you. The same thing will happen when your new boyfriend kisses you. You’ll suddenly remember how to do it, even if you are a little nervous. And sometimes, getting back on the bike (or kissing again after a six-month break) makes you look at things in a new way (like a cute new guy), and you’re even better at it!

The fun part is that everyone has a slightly different kissing style, so your new boyfriend might kiss a little bit differently than your last one — and that’s OK. Don’t feel the need to kiss a certain way. Try to enjoy the moment and relax a little. Kissing is meant to be fun! And if things aren’t perfect the first time — say you two bump teeth or he goes in and accidentally kisses your ear instead of your lips (these things can happen with even the best of kissers!) — just smile and laugh a little. If you’re comfortable, he will be more comfortable, and that makes for much better kissing. The key is that you really like each other. And what could be better than kissing someone you’re crazy about?

Have fun!

xxx
Sarah

So, come by Books of Wonder on Sunday, March 21st between 2:00 and 6:00 PM and get books signed by these totally fantastic YA authors. Check below for specific signing times for each author. There are signing shifts in order to fit all the authors in the store. I’ll be there from 2:00-2:45 PM (because B is near the beginning of the alphabet. Loving that!) – and I get to sign with a really cool group.

Books of Wonder is located at 18 W. 18th Street (between 5th and 6th Avenues) in Manhattan.
(Thanks to Book Girl Reviews for putting together this amazing list of all the authors AND their books.)

2:00-2:45
Alma Alexander
- Worldweavers: Gift of the Unmage
- Worldweavers: Spellspam
- Worldweavers: Cybermage
Nora Raleigh Baskin
- Anything But Typical
- What Every Girl (Except Me) Knows
- Almost Home
- All We Know of Love
- The Truth About My Bat Mitzvah
- In the Company of Crazies
- Basketball (or Something Like It)
Cathleen Davitt Bell
- Slipping
- Little Blog on the Prairie (May 11th)
Judy Blundell
- What I saw and How I Lied
Libba Bray
- Going Bovine
- A Great and Terrible Beauty
- Rebel Angels
- The Sweet Far Thing
Coe Booth
- Tyrell
- Kendra
Elise Broach
- Shakespeare’s Secret
- Masterpiece
- Desert Crossing
Alexandra Bullen
- Wish
Nick Burd
- The Vast Fields of Ordinary
Sarah Burningham (that’s me!)
- Boyology: A Teen Girl’s Crash Course in All Things Boy
- How to Raise Your Parents: A Teen Girl’s Survival Guide
Susane Colasanti
- When It Happens
- Take Me There
- Waiting For You
- Something Like Fate (May 4th)
Matt De La Pena
- We Were Here
- Mexican WhiteBoy
- Ball Don’t Lie
- I Will Save You (October 12th)
Violet Haberdasher
- Knightly Academy
Maggie Stiefvater
- Shiver
- Linger (July 20th)
- Lament: The Faerie Queen’s Deception
- Ballad: A Gathering of Faeries

2:45-3:30
Tom Dolby
- Secret Society
- The Trouble Boy
- The Sixth Form
Heather Duffy-Stone
- This Is What I Want to Tell You
Sarah Beth Durst
- Ice
- Into the Wild
- Out of the Wild
Elizabeth Eulberg
- The Lonely Hearts Club
Gayle Forman
- You Can’t Get There From Here
- If I Stay
- Sisters in Sanity
Aimee Friedman
- Sea Change
- The Year My Sister Got Lucky
- French Kiss
- South Beach
- Hollywood Hills
- A Novel Idea
Jenny Han
- Shug
- The Summer I Turned Pretty
- It’s Not Summer Without You (April 27th)
Alice Hoffman
- The Story Sisters
- The Foretelling
- Practical Magic
- Turtle Moon
- Here on Earth
- Incantation
- Slylight Confessions
- The Ice Queen
Carla Jablonksi
- Silent Echoes
- Thicker Than Water
- The Books of Magic Series
Melissa Kantor
- Girlfriend Material
- Confessions of a Not It Girl
- If I Have a Wicked Stepmother, Where’s My Prince?
- The Breakup Bible
- The Amanda Project
Kristen Kemp
- I Will Survive
- The Dating Diaries
- Breakfast at Bloomingdale’s
Michelle Knudsen
- The Dragon of Trelian
- Library Lion
- Fish and Frog
Peter Lerangis
- WTF
- The Spy X series
- The Watchers series
- The 39 Clues series
David Levithan
- Love is the Higher Law
- The Realm of Possibility
- Boy Meets Boy
- Wide Awake
- Are We There Yet?
- How They Met and Other Stories
- Marly’s Ghost
- Naomi and Ely’s No Kiss List
- Nick & Norah’s Inifite Playlist
- Dash & Lily’s Book of Dares (October 12th)

3:30-4:15
Sarah Darer Littman
- Purge
- Confessions of a Closet Catholic
Barry Lyga
- Boy Toy
- Hero-Type
- The Astonishing Adventures of Fanboy and Goth GIrl
- Goth Girl Rising
- Wolverine: Worst Day Ever
Robin MacCready
- Buried
Carolyn Mackler
- Tangled
- Guyaholic
- Love and Other Four-Letter Words
- Vegan Virgin Valentine
- The Earth, My Butt and Other Big Round Things
Sarah Maclean
- The Season
- Nine Rules to Break When Romancing a Rake (March 30th)
Marianne Mancusi
- Girls That Growl
- Boys That Bite
- Stake That
- Bad Blood
- A Connecticut Fashionista In King Arther’s Court
- A Hoboken Hipster in Sherwood Forest
Amanda Marrone
- Uninvited
- Revealers
- Devoured
Wendy Mass
- Finally
- Leap Day
- A Mango-Shaped Space
- Heaven Looks a Lot Like the Mall
- Jeremy Fink and the Meaning of Life
- 11 Birthdays
- Every Soul A Star
Lauren McLaughlin
- Cycler
- Recylcer
Neesha Meminger
- Shine, Coconut Moon
Sarah Mlynowski
- Fishbowl
- Milkrun
- How To Be Bad
- Gimme a Call (April 27th)
- Parties & Potions
- Frogs & French Kisses
- Bras & Broomsticks
- Spells & Sleeping Bags
- Monkey Business
- As Seen on TV
Michael Northrup
- Beautiful Ecstasy
Robin Palmer
- Little Miss Red
- Cindy Ella
- Geek Charming

4:15-5:00
Diana Peterfreund
- Rampant
- Ascendant (September 28th)
- Tap & Gown (Ivy League Novel)
- Secret Society Girl (Ivy League Novel)
- Under the Rose (Ivy League Novel)
- Rites of Spring (Break)
Shani Petroff
- Daddy’s Little Angel
- The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
- Careful What You Wish For (June 10th)
- Love Struck (December 23rd)
Olugbemisola Rhuday-Perkovich
- Eighth-Grade Superzero
Matthue Roth
- Losers
- Never Mind the Goldbergs
- Yom Kippur a Go-Go: A Memoir
Marie Rutkoski
- The Cabinet of Wonders
- The Celestial Globe (April 13th)
Lisa Ann Sandell
- A Map of the Known World
- The Weight of the Sky
- Song of the Sparrow
Samantha Schutz
- I Don’t Want To Be Crazy
Elizabeth Scott
- The Unwritten Rule (March 16th)
- Something, Maybe
- Stealing Heaven
- Bloom
- Perfect You
- Living Dead Girl
- Love You, Hate You, Miss You
Kieran Scott
- Geek Magnet
- I Was a Non-Blonde Cheerleader
- A Non-Blonde Cheerleader in Love
- She’s So Dead to Us (May 25th)
- Jingle Boy
- Brunettes Strike Back
Courtney Sheinmel
- Positively
- My So-Called Family
- Sincerely: Sincerely, Sophie; Sincerely, Katie (June 8th)
Sara Shepard
- The Visibles
- Pretty Little Liars series
- All The Things We Didn’t Say
Abby Sher
- Kissing Snowflakes
- Amen, Amen, Amen: Memoir of a Girl Who Couldn’t Stop Praying (Among Other Thing)
Jon Skovron
- Struts & Frets

5:00-5:45
Jennifer Smith
- You Are Here
- The Comeback Season
Natalie Standiford
- How To Say Goodbye In Robot
- The Dating Game series
Rachel Vail
- Gorgeous
- Lucky
- You, Maybe: The Profound Asymmetry of Love in High School
- If We Kiss
- Do Over
David Van Etten
- Likely Story
- All That Glitters
- Red Carpet Riot
Siobhan Vivian
- Same Difference
- A Little Friendly Advice
Adrienne Maria Vrettos
- Skin
- Sight
- The Exile of Gigi Lane (April 6th)
Melissa Walker
- Violet on the Runway
- Violet By Design
- Violet in Private
- Lovestruck Summer
Robin Wasserman
- Skinned
- Crashed
- Wired (September 14th)
- Chasing Yesterday books
- The Seven Deadly Sins series
Suzanne Weyn
- The Diamond Secret
- Reincarnation
- The Night Dance
- The Crimson Thread
- Distant Waves
- The Bar Code Tattoo
- Bar Code Rebellion
- Water Song
Lynn Weingarten
- Wherever Nina Lies
Martin Wilson
- What They Always Tell Us
Jake Wizner
- Spanking Shakespeare
- Castration Celebration
Maryrose Wood
- Why I Let My Hair Grow Out
- How I Found the Perfect Dress
- What I Wore to Save the World
- My Life: The Musical
- Sex Kittens and Horn Dawgs Fall in Love
Michelle Zink
- Prophecy of the Sisters
- Guardian of the Gate (August 1st)

Your Question:

Dear Reader,
That’s a tricky one. Do you tell your friend and risk him being angry and taking it out on you? Or do you keep quiet and let him find his own way, knowing that eventually he’ll find out his girlfriend’s been cheating?

When it comes to dilemmas like these — tricky situations that could ruin a friendship — you should ask yourself two questions.

First, what’s your real reason for wanting to spill the beans? Think of it like this: Do you want to tell your friend his girlfriend is cheating because a little part of you might want to be his girlfriend? Be honest with yourself. If your reasoning is at all selfish, then you just need to stay out of it. And keep in mind that, most of the time, getting in the way of a relationship just makes things messier — not just for that relationship, but for your friendship too.

That said, here comes Question No. 2: What would you want a friend to do if the situation were reversed? Take this particular friend out of it and imagine you’re dating someone totally different and a friend comes to tell you he’s cheating. You might be suspicious, and you might take your hurt feelings out on the friend. Or you might be grateful that someone had the guts to tell you before you got too deep into the relationship.

Since every situation — and every friendship — is different, there’s a different way to handle this every time. Just think long and hard before you make the decision to break the news. If you do tell your guy friend, be sure to do it in private and, no matter what, DO NOT trash-talk the girlfriend. Keep it to facts, because it’s hard to hear that your girlfriend is cheating on you, even if it’s true. There’s no need to rub it in.

Good luck!
xxx
Sarah

dear Sarah,

-Frustrated in Florida

Dear Frustrated in Florida,

First of all, good for you, standing your ground. You’re smart not to let anyone push you farther than you want to go. It’s hard to do, especially when you really care about someone and it sounds like you really cared about this guy. I’m sorry he doesn’t have enough class to talk to you face-to-face about breaking up. Even though you know now that he isn’t good enough for you, it still hurts to have someone treat you badly.

I know it’s not going to help the hurt, but you got lucky finding out what kind of person this guy is before you let the relationship go any farther. Anyone who is not adult enough to deal with your limits is not the kind of person you want to be in a relationship with.

My advice is to give yourself some more time to get over him and get this bad breakup out of your system. And I want to remind you that there are decent guys out there—guys who will respect your boundaries and love you for who you are, not how far you’re willing to go. So don’t give up on guys completely! When you’re ready, you’ll know. Until then, don’t be too hard yourself and take the time you need before moving on.

xxx
Sarah

The article: No More Cooties! When Your Teen is Attracted to the Opposite Sex.

Dear Reader,
I’m so glad you asked this question. So many of the girls I know have felt exactly like this. There’s a lot of pressure to look a certain way and if you don’t, you might feel unattractive. The truth is, and I know this sounds cheesy (but it’s true!), beauty comes in all shapes and sizes.

The first step to feeling good about how you look is finding, and playing up, what makes you beautiful. My friend (and favorite makeup artist, Carmindy) calls this “feature focus.” Take a step back from the mirror. Think about your favorite feature. Maybe it’s your big eyes or your soft hands or the fact that you don’t have to flat-iron your hair when you want to wear it straight. Now, what can you do to emphasize this favorite part? Maybe some simple mascara or a manicure will make it pop. I’m not into a lot of makeup (and most guys aren’t either!) but sometimes a little something can give you that extra oomph you need and help boost your confidence. And remember that beauty comes from within, too. The fact that you can play Beethoven’s entire 5th Symphony on the piano or can do Beyonce’s “put a ring on it” dance, makes you beautiful.

Now, about the guys. Self-confidence is contagious. People want to be around those who make them feel good about themselves. And part of having self-confidence around other people is to not think so much about how you look. You won’t hear a really funny joke if you’re focused on whether or not your lipgloss is the right color. Try to enjoy the moment. You’ll have more fun and the guys you meet will, too!

xxx
Sarah

And when you need a little reminder of what beauty really is, re-watch this Dove video on the distorted view of beauty in magazines:

Your Question: Ok so I really, really, really like this guy who happens to be one of my best friends and I’ve known him my whole entire life our families are really good friends. We don’t go to the same school but I see him on weekends with our families. I want to tell him that I like him and I have tried a couple of times but I got to nervous. Any ideas on how to tell him?

Thanks!
Annabeth

Dear Annabeth,
Crushing on a friend can be really nerve-wracking but it makes total sense. After all, you know him really well, as a friend first, and he probably knows you well, too. You know his sense of humor, what makes him nervous or upset, and how he treats his family – all important things to know about a potential boyfriend.

Since it can be overwhelming to come right out and say that you like someone, you can start dropping some pretty obvious hints that you like him.

First, since it sounds like you spend most of your time hanging out around your families, try suggesting that the two of you do something different. Not an official date, but maybe there’s a movie that you want to see or a school activity you want him to come to. If he seems up for being with you in a new situation, it’s a good sign that he might have feelings for you, too. See how it goes. If he seems to respond to your flirting (and is flirting back!), you’ll be able to tell if there might be a future for you two as a couple.

And then comes the big part – really telling him how you feel! Yes, you have to do it at some point. After all, you want to be able to be honest and straightforward in a relationship. But you can wait to profess your love until you’ve tested him out a little. Go out a few times and introduce him in to your life during the week. You’ll know when the moment is right. And in the meantime, have a great time getting to know him better and hanging out in different places. The process leading up to the relationship can be really fun, so enjoy it!

xxx
Sarah

Let me set the scene for you: Saturday night on the E train, going from Queens (rock on!) to Manhattan for a house party. Ok, so I’m not that lame but I’m also not done yet. The train car was pretty empty when I got on (come to find out that’s because it smelled like urine) and I quickly moved to the other, less smelly, end where a group of 7 teenagers was hanging out. I bet they were juniors, maybe seniors, in high school. The woman across from them had a pinched look on her face – a cross between terror and annoyance, but the only place I could sit away from the smell was next to one of the girls. So, earbuds in, I plopped myself down and started playing wurdle. (See, I am lame.)

For the next 15 minutes, I watched this group of friends, totally mesmerized. They weren’t doing anything special. After just one stop, the guys all stood up and bounced around the car – they literally couldn’t sit still – and the girls started laughing over some pictures on an iPhone. Every few minutes, one or all of the 4 guys would come over, hang on the bar and kind of droop themselves above the girls. They would say something stupid, the girls would laugh, one of their buddies would give them a friendly punch, and then one of the girls would hold up her phone with another video or picture or song. Repeat for 7 more stops.

Ok, here’s the lame part. I was totally entranced by the whole thing. I’ve been there. Not literally, I mean. I didn’t spend my high school years in New York riding the E train to Times Square. But there in the sense that I had those nights when everyone was in a good mood, when it wasn’t too cold for my favorite sweater and my best friend had a good hair day, and we felt like the whole world was coming together to make the night perfect for us. Cheesy, yes. But true. And watching those teenagers I went back to those moments. It just made me realize -  you have to enjoy those nights. They’re special and rare. I’ve let myself get stuck up on small things that don’t matter and have sometimes forgetten to relish those tiny moments when everything just flows and all of my friends laugh at the same joke and everyone’s all in the mood for chicken mcnuggets not pizza, and time seems to stop, at least for a second. They’re nice in memories but not as wonderful if you don’t actually live the moment. So do it. Enjoy them.