So, when a big site like SheKnows.com says that BOYOLOGY and HOW TO RAISE YOUR PARENTS are in the top 5 books for teens/tweens, it means a lot. Parenting expert Melissa Chapman picked both of them in her recent list of top 15 books for preschoolers, kids and teens (they’re in the teen bracket, obviously). And her goal was to pick books that parents could get teens – that teens would actually like! So, this is like a double scoop of rocky road with a cherry on top (and a few chocolate sprinkles). It’s so exciting to have this recommendation from someone like Melissa and a big site like SheKnows, and even bigger that they say teens will like them. Yay!

Your Question:

Dear Reader,
Sometimes moms (well, all parents for that matter) know just how to embarrass you! You want to keep your period on the down-low but you know you’re mom, and you know that she’s probably going to make a big deal out of it. So how do you talk to her without her overreacting (even if it is in a positive way)?

Why don’t you try writing her a note to get the conversation started? You can take all the time you need to put your feelings and thoughts down, including the fact that you think she’s going to make a bigger deal out of this than you want her to. Be honest and tell her that you want to be able to talk to her, but you need her to be really low-key about it and help make the whole conversation more comfortable. Ask if you can set up a time when just the two of can talk about it (you might have some questions after all, and she’s been dealing with this for years). Then, suggest that when you do talk, you do it somewhere private, so you don’t have to worry about a little brother, your dad, or anyone else barging in. Be sure to leave the note on her pillow or in her makeup drawer – somewhere she’s sure to find it. After your mom gets your note, she’ll have a better sense of where you’re coming from. And she’ll probably even relate a little. Maybe she felt the same way with her mom!

The good side of talking to your mom is that she will have some advice (sometimes cramps and things like that run in the family, so she might really understand your symptoms and feelings) and ultimately make your period easier to handle. She’ll also be able to help keep your supplies well-stocked and make appointments with your doctor when you need them.

Use your note to set the tone of the conversation. Your mom will likely follow your lead. And don’t worry about feeling like this. Remember that it’s your period and it’s ok to feel like you don’t want it blown out of proportion.

Good luck!
xxx
Sarah

So, come by Books of Wonder on Sunday, March 21st between 2:00 and 6:00 PM and get books signed by these totally fantastic YA authors. Check below for specific signing times for each author. There are signing shifts in order to fit all the authors in the store. I’ll be there from 2:00-2:45 PM (because B is near the beginning of the alphabet. Loving that!) – and I get to sign with a really cool group.

Books of Wonder is located at 18 W. 18th Street (between 5th and 6th Avenues) in Manhattan.
(Thanks to Book Girl Reviews for putting together this amazing list of all the authors AND their books.)

2:00-2:45
Alma Alexander
- Worldweavers: Gift of the Unmage
- Worldweavers: Spellspam
- Worldweavers: Cybermage
Nora Raleigh Baskin
- Anything But Typical
- What Every Girl (Except Me) Knows
- Almost Home
- All We Know of Love
- The Truth About My Bat Mitzvah
- In the Company of Crazies
- Basketball (or Something Like It)
Cathleen Davitt Bell
- Slipping
- Little Blog on the Prairie (May 11th)
Judy Blundell
- What I saw and How I Lied
Libba Bray
- Going Bovine
- A Great and Terrible Beauty
- Rebel Angels
- The Sweet Far Thing
Coe Booth
- Tyrell
- Kendra
Elise Broach
- Shakespeare’s Secret
- Masterpiece
- Desert Crossing
Alexandra Bullen
- Wish
Nick Burd
- The Vast Fields of Ordinary
Sarah Burningham (that’s me!)
- Boyology: A Teen Girl’s Crash Course in All Things Boy
- How to Raise Your Parents: A Teen Girl’s Survival Guide
Susane Colasanti
- When It Happens
- Take Me There
- Waiting For You
- Something Like Fate (May 4th)
Matt De La Pena
- We Were Here
- Mexican WhiteBoy
- Ball Don’t Lie
- I Will Save You (October 12th)
Violet Haberdasher
- Knightly Academy
Maggie Stiefvater
- Shiver
- Linger (July 20th)
- Lament: The Faerie Queen’s Deception
- Ballad: A Gathering of Faeries

2:45-3:30
Tom Dolby
- Secret Society
- The Trouble Boy
- The Sixth Form
Heather Duffy-Stone
- This Is What I Want to Tell You
Sarah Beth Durst
- Ice
- Into the Wild
- Out of the Wild
Elizabeth Eulberg
- The Lonely Hearts Club
Gayle Forman
- You Can’t Get There From Here
- If I Stay
- Sisters in Sanity
Aimee Friedman
- Sea Change
- The Year My Sister Got Lucky
- French Kiss
- South Beach
- Hollywood Hills
- A Novel Idea
Jenny Han
- Shug
- The Summer I Turned Pretty
- It’s Not Summer Without You (April 27th)
Alice Hoffman
- The Story Sisters
- The Foretelling
- Practical Magic
- Turtle Moon
- Here on Earth
- Incantation
- Slylight Confessions
- The Ice Queen
Carla Jablonksi
- Silent Echoes
- Thicker Than Water
- The Books of Magic Series
Melissa Kantor
- Girlfriend Material
- Confessions of a Not It Girl
- If I Have a Wicked Stepmother, Where’s My Prince?
- The Breakup Bible
- The Amanda Project
Kristen Kemp
- I Will Survive
- The Dating Diaries
- Breakfast at Bloomingdale’s
Michelle Knudsen
- The Dragon of Trelian
- Library Lion
- Fish and Frog
Peter Lerangis
- WTF
- The Spy X series
- The Watchers series
- The 39 Clues series
David Levithan
- Love is the Higher Law
- The Realm of Possibility
- Boy Meets Boy
- Wide Awake
- Are We There Yet?
- How They Met and Other Stories
- Marly’s Ghost
- Naomi and Ely’s No Kiss List
- Nick & Norah’s Inifite Playlist
- Dash & Lily’s Book of Dares (October 12th)

3:30-4:15
Sarah Darer Littman
- Purge
- Confessions of a Closet Catholic
Barry Lyga
- Boy Toy
- Hero-Type
- The Astonishing Adventures of Fanboy and Goth GIrl
- Goth Girl Rising
- Wolverine: Worst Day Ever
Robin MacCready
- Buried
Carolyn Mackler
- Tangled
- Guyaholic
- Love and Other Four-Letter Words
- Vegan Virgin Valentine
- The Earth, My Butt and Other Big Round Things
Sarah Maclean
- The Season
- Nine Rules to Break When Romancing a Rake (March 30th)
Marianne Mancusi
- Girls That Growl
- Boys That Bite
- Stake That
- Bad Blood
- A Connecticut Fashionista In King Arther’s Court
- A Hoboken Hipster in Sherwood Forest
Amanda Marrone
- Uninvited
- Revealers
- Devoured
Wendy Mass
- Finally
- Leap Day
- A Mango-Shaped Space
- Heaven Looks a Lot Like the Mall
- Jeremy Fink and the Meaning of Life
- 11 Birthdays
- Every Soul A Star
Lauren McLaughlin
- Cycler
- Recylcer
Neesha Meminger
- Shine, Coconut Moon
Sarah Mlynowski
- Fishbowl
- Milkrun
- How To Be Bad
- Gimme a Call (April 27th)
- Parties & Potions
- Frogs & French Kisses
- Bras & Broomsticks
- Spells & Sleeping Bags
- Monkey Business
- As Seen on TV
Michael Northrup
- Beautiful Ecstasy
Robin Palmer
- Little Miss Red
- Cindy Ella
- Geek Charming

4:15-5:00
Diana Peterfreund
- Rampant
- Ascendant (September 28th)
- Tap & Gown (Ivy League Novel)
- Secret Society Girl (Ivy League Novel)
- Under the Rose (Ivy League Novel)
- Rites of Spring (Break)
Shani Petroff
- Daddy’s Little Angel
- The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
- Careful What You Wish For (June 10th)
- Love Struck (December 23rd)
Olugbemisola Rhuday-Perkovich
- Eighth-Grade Superzero
Matthue Roth
- Losers
- Never Mind the Goldbergs
- Yom Kippur a Go-Go: A Memoir
Marie Rutkoski
- The Cabinet of Wonders
- The Celestial Globe (April 13th)
Lisa Ann Sandell
- A Map of the Known World
- The Weight of the Sky
- Song of the Sparrow
Samantha Schutz
- I Don’t Want To Be Crazy
Elizabeth Scott
- The Unwritten Rule (March 16th)
- Something, Maybe
- Stealing Heaven
- Bloom
- Perfect You
- Living Dead Girl
- Love You, Hate You, Miss You
Kieran Scott
- Geek Magnet
- I Was a Non-Blonde Cheerleader
- A Non-Blonde Cheerleader in Love
- She’s So Dead to Us (May 25th)
- Jingle Boy
- Brunettes Strike Back
Courtney Sheinmel
- Positively
- My So-Called Family
- Sincerely: Sincerely, Sophie; Sincerely, Katie (June 8th)
Sara Shepard
- The Visibles
- Pretty Little Liars series
- All The Things We Didn’t Say
Abby Sher
- Kissing Snowflakes
- Amen, Amen, Amen: Memoir of a Girl Who Couldn’t Stop Praying (Among Other Thing)
Jon Skovron
- Struts & Frets

5:00-5:45
Jennifer Smith
- You Are Here
- The Comeback Season
Natalie Standiford
- How To Say Goodbye In Robot
- The Dating Game series
Rachel Vail
- Gorgeous
- Lucky
- You, Maybe: The Profound Asymmetry of Love in High School
- If We Kiss
- Do Over
David Van Etten
- Likely Story
- All That Glitters
- Red Carpet Riot
Siobhan Vivian
- Same Difference
- A Little Friendly Advice
Adrienne Maria Vrettos
- Skin
- Sight
- The Exile of Gigi Lane (April 6th)
Melissa Walker
- Violet on the Runway
- Violet By Design
- Violet in Private
- Lovestruck Summer
Robin Wasserman
- Skinned
- Crashed
- Wired (September 14th)
- Chasing Yesterday books
- The Seven Deadly Sins series
Suzanne Weyn
- The Diamond Secret
- Reincarnation
- The Night Dance
- The Crimson Thread
- Distant Waves
- The Bar Code Tattoo
- Bar Code Rebellion
- Water Song
Lynn Weingarten
- Wherever Nina Lies
Martin Wilson
- What They Always Tell Us
Jake Wizner
- Spanking Shakespeare
- Castration Celebration
Maryrose Wood
- Why I Let My Hair Grow Out
- How I Found the Perfect Dress
- What I Wore to Save the World
- My Life: The Musical
- Sex Kittens and Horn Dawgs Fall in Love
Michelle Zink
- Prophecy of the Sisters
- Guardian of the Gate (August 1st)

The article: No More Cooties! When Your Teen is Attracted to the Opposite Sex.

This might sound harsh, but abusive relationships are no joke, and abusive behavior can’t be tolerated on any level, by anyone. I’m not privy to details of Chris and Rihanna’s personal relationship, and I hope he’s enough of a man to apologize directly to her and not just his fans, but I also hope she doesn’t take him back. Not because she has to be an example for other women (even though she’s become one by default), but because no woman should be with a man who doesn’t respect her enough to keep his hands off of her.

I wanted to share this Teen Dating Bill of Rights, courtesy of LoveisRespect.org – a national teen dating abuse hotline. If you or anyone you know is in an abusive relationship or is in a relationship that seems like it’s on the verge of becoming abusive, please talk to some you trust. Get some help. There are guys out there who will treat you right and you deserve to be in a relationship that is healthy and happy.

Teen Dating Bill of Rights

I have the right:

• To always be treated with respect – In a respectful relationship, you should be treated as an equal.
• To be in a healthy relationship – A healthy relationship is not controlling, manipulative, or jealous. A healthy relationship involves honesty, trust, and communication.
• To not be hurt physically or emotionally – You should feel safe in your relationship at all times.
• Abuse is never deserved and is never your fault – Conflicts should be resolved in a peaceful and rational way.
• To refuse sex or affection at anytime – A healthy relationship involves making consensual sexual decisions.
• You have the right to not have sex – Even if you have had sex before, you have the right to refuse sex for any reason.
• To have friends and activities apart from my boyfriend or girlfriend – Spending time by yourself, with male or female friends, or with family is normal and healthy.
• To end a relationship – You should not be harassed, threatened, or made to feel guilty for ending an unhealthy or healthy relationship. You have the right to end a relationship for any reason you choose.

I pledge to:

• Always treat my boyfriend or girlfriend with respect.
• Never hurt my boyfriend or girlfriend physically, verbally, or emotionally.
• Respect my girlfriend’s or boyfriend’s decisions concerning sex and affection.
• Not be controlling or manipulative in my relationship.
• Accept responsibility for myself and my actions.

Even though I mostly get questions from teens, I get some emails from parents, too. And the most common question in these parental emails deals with talking to their teenager (usually daughter) about sex. Not a surprise, really. Sex is a hot button topic.

My favorite line from the Time article is, “Just Do It. Just Say No. Just Wear a Condom. When it comes to sex, the message to America’s kids is confused and confusing.” That says it all. If parents are confused and grappling with how to talk about sex, how is a teenager supposed to feel comfortable going to her mom or dad with questions? (And every teenager I know has questions.)

So, I wanted to send one word of advice to all the parents out there: TALK.

I know every family is different. Some parents want their teens to wait until marriage. Some just want their teens to be safe. Others (like my father) would rather not think about sex at all when it comes to their daughters. (Although, kudos to my parents for talking to my anyway.)

But no matter how you feel, you must TALK. Your teenager is listening. And your teenager is smart. She doesn’t need you to beat around the bush. What do the birds and the bees have to do with it, anyway? The first time I heard the phrase “heavy petting” I thought of a petting zoo. Literally – goats, cows, the works. Yes, I got the real meaning eventually, but I wish my mom would have just been straight with me from the get-go. Dating and figuring yourself out as a teenager is complicated enough. No need to throw terms like “petting” into the mix.

So instead of having one formal sit-down conversation in 5th grade to cover all the bases (BAD) or ignoring the subject completely (WORSE), open up to the idea that the sex talk is ongoing. And then do it. Talk.

But what does “I would totally hook up with him” really mean?

Teen Vogue jumps right into the issue with a new article Modern Romance. The tell-all subtitle, From Kissing to ‘Sexting’ – Today’s Hook Up Culture is Changing How Teens Think About Relationships,  is guaranteed to raise eyebrows. But when you start reading, you realize that there isn’t one (and only one) pervasive hook-up culture because there isn’t actually one definition of hooking up. For one girl it’s just making out, for another it could be anything and everything except sex. That’s a big difference covered by one very commonly used term.

So what does that mean for you?

The one common denominator in hooking up is that it doesn’t lead to a relationship. You aren’t going to make-out with some guy and wow him with your kissing prowess (even though you probably are a fab kisser). It just doesn’t work that way. So before you hook up with with someone, make sure you know what you want to get out of it and what you’re comfortable with. Do you want this guy to take you out next weekend? Are you expecting him to text later saying how good it was to talk to you? 99.9 % of the time, hooking up isn’t going to get you any of this – that’s just not the expectation that’s set up around it. It’s a one-time deal with a one-time guy. And most of the time, you want better than that. But you have to decide for yourself. Don’t let him – or even “the cool kids” as they’re called in the article – make you feel like hooking up isn’t a big deal. When something involves you, it’s always a big deal. And hooking up is ultimately all about you.

Which is why I was so happy to “discover” these 10 new YA blogs. Now, I say “discover” loosely, because I know that many readers have probably known about these for a long time. And yet, I had to share them, just in case you’re a creature of habit like me and haven’t found them quite yet…

• Ten Cent Notes – I loved Jordyn’s old blog and this one is even better. (Check back, I’m doing a Q&A with Jordyn in a few days!)
• Reader Girl – Smart. Smart. Smart.
• Alley of Books – I follow Mitali on Twitter. Love her.
• Korianne Speaks – another Twitter genius. With great taste in books.
• Five Awesome YA Fans – they video blog on YouTube. Yes, very cool.
• Sarah’s Random Musings – Good name. Good musings.
• Juiciliousss Reviews – Full disclosure, Stephanie did a mini-interview with me for BOYOLOGY. But I would read her blog even if she hadn’t.
• Green Bean Teen Queen – I like almost every librarian so it makes sense I would love one named Sarah who is a tween/teen librarian and reviews for TeensReadToo. The trifecta of awesome-ness.
• Lauren’s Crammed Bookshelf – How can you not appreciate someone with a crammed bookshelf who writes thoughtful reviews?
• Flip the Page! – I particulary like the author interviews on this blog.

PS. These aren’t in any particular order. I love them all. And if I missed any, comment and let me know. Like I said – I’m always looking for something great to break the old habits.

Here I am, posting this blog, photographing myself with my iPhone. I feel pretty tech-y, if I do say so myself.

Big companies are endlessly studying how teens (and tweens) are consuming media. (You know the studies and articles I’m talking about: “Teens are on Twitter” – “Facebook is the new MySpace” – “Texting is the end of Communicaton as We Know it!”) But the most interesting study I’ve read recently is one on The Way We Watch blog. The blogger is a dad, and he chronicles the media consumption of his two tween-agers – a 9-year old son and 12-year old daughter. While it’s not completely balanced, I think it’s more revealing than many of the Poynter Institute media studies I’ve seen in a long time. So, I decided to add my own media consumption habits as an alternative study case. And now I’m wondering, what does this all say about me?

29 year-old girl:

• Books are not dead (same as 9-year old boy AND 12-year old girl). Each day I have to swim though stacks of books just to find the door from my apartment to the outside world. Most recent acquisitions: City of Thieves, The Hunger Games, Love Begins in Winter, Guyaholic. Books I’ve actually finished in the last few weeks: Bitter is the New Black (too bitter for me), Lock & Key, Vegan Virgin Valentine, and The Believers. I do have a Sony eReader, although the only think I really read on it is manuscripts for work. I’m still carrying a paperback with me everywhere I go. Hmmm….maybe that’s why I’m starting to look like a hunchback.
• Gaming: I recently hooked my wii up to the internet and now can regularly get my butt kicked by strangers who seem to dedicate their lives to Dr. Mario. But I will never give up!
• Cell Phone: Ok – I sucked it up and got an iPhone. And I’m partially happy with the results. Aside from the fact that I get TERRIBLE, let me repeat – TERRIBLE! – service in Manhattan, I love the apps. Tweetie, Shazam. And yes, Wurdle. I am striving to be Wurdle world champion.
• Computers: I work on a Mac laptop at work, and an iMac at home. I’m a Mac girl all the way.
• Websites: Countless hours a day spent on the web. The New York Times for real news, Apartment Therapy for home decor lust, Kayak.com for dreaming about when I’m going to go on vacation next (and how much it’s going to cost), Twitter to stay in touch, Brodi Ashton’s blog (to crack me up – it’s so freaking funny), and if I’m feeling super foodie, I check out the daily recipe on Picky-Palate. Oh, and of course, I check out my own site, thinking about whether or not I really have anything to say in a blog post. Ususally I don’t. But I post anyway.
• Social Networks: the phrase “social networks” really annoys me, but I’m on them all the time. Facebook and Twitter are my faves. I realized the other day that I knew all about my friend’s breakup even though we haven’t actually spoken about it. So, I’m going to call her tonight. But other than not actually talking to my friends, these are a good way to stay in touch.
• IM: good for work. Really. Cuts down on so much email for me. My only problem is that I’m a chronic email filer. You know the type. We save everything in precisely labeled sub-sub-folders and can never find it when we really need it. You can’t sub-folder IMs.
• Movies and TV: I’m a Netflix addict. My husband and I get a few movies a week and this is how we end up watching most of our TV shows, too. I love being able to get back DVDs of shows like Mad Men and The Wire and sitting down and watching them hours at a time. And I’ve recently gotten hooked on Nova (yes, I’m a total dork) since you can stream all the episodes from your online Netflix account. And Hulu – talking about making life easy. We don’t even have a DVR. We just watch everything on our own time. Last movie I watched: He’s Just Not That Into You (on a plane).
• Magazines: My first true love. I get a TON of magazines at home and keep subscribing through this super cheap website: magazinepricesearch.com. I was crushed when Domino closed, but still keep busy with some of my other favorites: Teen Vogue, O the Oprah magazine, New York, Atlantic Monthly, People, Glamour, Vanity Fair, Seventeen, Real Simple, Nylon, More (I know it’s for 40 year-olds but I love this one!), Every Day with Rachael Ray, I could go on and on.
• Skype: My parents recently discovered this while traveling. They think they are tech geniuses (I tease them mercilessly) but I actually love being able to really talk to them even though they’re in a different country. The last few days it hasn’t worked and I miss them! Oh, and it’s free. Bonus!

If that’s you, there’s a new book called The Girls’ Guide to Rocking and it covers EVERYTHING (seriously) from how to start a band to going solo to which pedal you need for which guitar. I found the book in a recent Salon.com article “No Teeny-Boppers Allowed.” A good article, but hey, there are a lot of teeny boppers out there who have WAY more musical cred than me (and probably the writer behind the article) so who are we to judge? I say, go out, have fun, and ROCK ON! For the rest of us, rock band will have to suffice.