dear Sarah,
A guy recently broke up with me without ACTUALLY breaking up with me… it made me feel completely worthless and unwanted. He didn’t even tell me to my face that he didn’t want to see me anymore, he just ignored me completely. I’m pretty sure the reason he did this was because he knew I wouldn’t have sex with him. It happened awhile ago but I can’t seem to let it go. I really want to move on from it but it’s hard.
-Frustrated in Florida
Dear Frustrated in Florida,
First of all, good for you, standing your ground. You’re smart not to let anyone push you farther than you want to go. It’s hard to do, especially when you really care about someone and it sounds like you really cared about this guy. I’m sorry he doesn’t have enough class to talk to you face-to-face about breaking up. Even though you know now that he isn’t good enough for you, it still hurts to have someone treat you badly.
I know it’s not going to help the hurt, but you got lucky finding out what kind of person this guy is before you let the relationship go any farther. Anyone who is not adult enough to deal with your limits is not the kind of person you want to be in a relationship with.
My advice is to give yourself some more time to get over him and get this bad breakup out of your system. And I want to remind you that there are decent guys out there—guys who will respect your boundaries and love you for who you are, not how far you’re willing to go. So don’t give up on guys completely! When you’re ready, you’ll know. Until then, don’t be too hard yourself and take the time you need before moving on.
xxx
Sarah
