Your Question: I have a friend who just starting going out with this girl. We have become very close friends but I recently found out she has been cheating on him this whole time. Should I be honest with my friend I’ve known forever or not tell him because I don’t want to break his heart? Please help.
Dear Reader,
That’s a tricky one. Do you tell your friend and risk him being angry and taking it out on you? Or do you keep quiet and let him find his own way, knowing that eventually he’ll find out his girlfriend’s been cheating?
When it comes to dilemmas like these — tricky situations that could ruin a friendship — you should ask yourself two questions.
First, what’s your real reason for wanting to spill the beans? Think of it like this: Do you want to tell your friend his girlfriend is cheating because a little part of you might want to be his girlfriend? Be honest with yourself. If your reasoning is at all selfish, then you just need to stay out of it. And keep in mind that, most of the time, getting in the way of a relationship just makes things messier — not just for that relationship, but for your friendship too.
That said, here comes Question No. 2: What would you want a friend to do if the situation were reversed? Take this particular friend out of it and imagine you’re dating someone totally different and a friend comes to tell you he’s cheating. You might be suspicious, and you might take your hurt feelings out on the friend. Or you might be grateful that someone had the guts to tell you before you got too deep into the relationship.
Since every situation — and every friendship — is different, there’s a different way to handle this every time. Just think long and hard before you make the decision to break the news. If you do tell your guy friend, be sure to do it in private and, no matter what, DO NOT trash-talk the girlfriend. Keep it to facts, because it’s hard to hear that your girlfriend is cheating on you, even if it’s true. There’s no need to rub it in.
Good luck!
xxx
Sarah
